Why Would I Imagine Such a Thing?

Fifteen minutes ago we locked eyes three times. Neither of us smiled. I'm not sure what you're excuse is, but I'm not in a smiling mood. It is possible that you were just looking at me because I was looking at you. That may have made you uncomfortable and uncomfortable people don't smile. The thing is, though, that I smile when I'm uncomfortable, and aren't we two similar people? So why weren't you smiling?
I'm beginning to feel that you had a plot in mind because I saw your car. Just for the record, the locked eyes were piece of evidence #1, and this is #2. But, yeah, I saw your car leaving the parking lot. Low to the ground like it was sneaking, rusted around the edges like your shower (I imagine). It was also distinctly boxy and blue, which makes me want to call it the BB-Car, or BBar for short (that actually may cause confusion because I do not plan on going bar hopping with you). It is the distinctiveness of this vehicle that adds meat to piece of evidence #2.
Just now--very, very recently--I saw your car again. You found me. Did you follow me here? It's lucky for you that I'm sitting on this stoop, right out in the open. If I were a functioning adult I would be inside with the air conditioner and some stock quotes. But I'm not. And I doubt you are because your car is a total piece. It's okay, though, because if we were those people you would not be sneaking glances at me through your driver's side window.
In your defense, that might not have even been you. This could just be my imagination running circles around my dappled rationality. However, in your prosecution, why would I imagine such a thing?